1. You refer to dating as test marketing.

2. When you bought a new house you called your fellow alumni and offered to name a room after them, if they'll help with the down payment.

3. Your favorite stories begin "Bob Jones, VP of marketing, sat at his desk and stared out his window…"

4. When you give your son his birthday present, you must say that it has an "unprecedented performance".

5. When you describe a product as "maintenance-free" you mean that it is impossible to fix it.

6. You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.